In reality, too many people are simply a disappointment.
They live without passion.
Waking up each day solely to fulfill the mindless routines and mundane expectations that society prompts them to accomplish.
They simply exist to exist as they strive to subsist and survive.
Appeasing a world built purely around predictability, profit, and political propaganda.
How can people be at peace with knowing that their life will end as unremarkably as the day they were born?
Perhaps because mediocrity offers comfort.
Perhaps for many it is easier to die unremarkably than to risk the consequences of ever truly living.
Tag: life
Happiness
There are moments in my life that I'm certain time stood still.
Moments where minutes had no frame and seconds had no end.
Moments in my life when everything happening around me had completely stopped and all I felt was happiness.
Childhood
It's funny what insignificant details stick out from my childhood.
I can remember the neighbor kid's laugh,
the entirety of a book minus the title, and the foul flavor of the Flintstones vitamins that were force fed to me.
Yet the details I want to remember have been lost throughout the years.
I can no longer recall the exact model of my parent's gray car, when I lost my slightly yellow front tooth, or the address of the blue house that I spent my first years in.
It seems that I have lost those details.
It seems that I have forgotten everything except what I had expected to forget.
Home
You didn't give me shelter.
You gave me a cage.
You gave me whitewashed walls and
called it a home as I walked warily
on eggshells.
Yet I learned to crave the quiet.
I preferred to live in silence versus
hearing one of them crack.
The sound of them shattering
was somehow as loud as your palm
against my face.
The Hedge
It's getting harder to notice where you hit the hedge with your car.
It took a few years, but it's branches are beginning to burst and bloom.
It's sharp pine needles finally flourishing and filling in the gaps that your hood had left.
Now even the scarred foliage seems to be smirking at what you did.
It's triumph much more than just another act of nature.
Raised
My environment made me this way.
It has made me volatile, self-destructive, and deeply despondent.
Yet I wasn't abused nor neglected.
Society's standards have tried to suffocate me into a state of submission that I struggle to silence.
I was never raised to be resentful and restless, but I have grown into these grievances.
Secrets
Part of me is desperate to write it all down and spill my secrets like fluid across every inch of my notebook.
That piece of me craves a cathartic release from every corrupt thought and moment that I've ever had.
Yet if all those fragile fragments are expelled from my head they no longer belong to me...
And there's nothing to gain from that.
My secrets are sacred...
For they have created the version of myself that only I will ever be able to know.
Friendships…
So… I have always put in way too much of an effort to keep a dead or fading relationship going. Over the years I’ve had quite a few friendships become one sided (where I slowly become the only one making any effort to make plans or communicate). Up until about a year ago I would do anything to keep someone in my life, but now I feel the complete opposite.
I’m at the point in my life that when I notice a relationship start to become dependent on me keeping it alive… I’m just over it. I refuse to beg to be a part of someone’s life or future (no matter the amount of great memories we’ve shared in the past). I get that people and situations change (I’m not ignorant), but if I’ve ever meant as much to someone as they’ve told me I do, I wouldn’t be the only one repeatedly trying to salvage friendships (especially friendships that have no apparent reason to be preserved besides my own personal nostalgias). My self worth and time is simply more important than that.
History is called history for a reason right?
I definitely have made my own mistakes in friendships and I am nowhere near a perfect friend, but I do deserve relationships that have an equal amount of effort being put into it. So if someone doesn’t want to put in any effort or is putting in the most minimal effort… I’m peacing. I have one life and I’m not wasting it trying to keep others around.
If I could give anyone reading this advice… Do not waste your precious time keeping relationships alive if you’re the only one trying. Just fucking leave. (Gracefully though, don’t be an asshole about it).
We all deserve to be in that Myspace top ten. 🫡
-Hal
Btw… I fucking hate Valentine’s Day. Every day we should be telling people we love them.
Happy Valentine’s Day though 😊🖤
Straws
I am desperate,
grasping at straws.
Feverishly I reach,
clawing into the acrid air
attempting to salvage
anything I can.
Yet I come back empty.
My hands holding hard
onto absolutely nothing.
Unexpected
I swear you were just here... Warm and alive. Preparing for tomorrow... Not expecting to die.But now the bed is cold and the curtains have shut... Hiding the white linen sheets left stained in disgust.
AO Poetry 
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