Sometimes... Our own light Goes out. Embers die. Flames fade. Warmth ceases. Then... Just as fast It can be rekindled By a spark From another's. Giving us everything We had missed.
Tag: fuck
Still You
I've still thought about you, Every hour, On the hour, Of every day, Since I left you there. Worrying. Contemplating. Crying. Hoping and praying, You make it through. And I'm still here, Trying too. Because despite everything, It's still you.
Self-Help
Current status…
Currently… I’m sitting here on my kitchen floor. Thinking. Writing to you.
In between my batches of chocolate walnut cookies (which smell fucking delicious btw), I’m reading a self-help book with Halsey playing in the background. Yeah yeah. I fucking broke down. Bought myself a damn self-help book from Amazon…
Maybe you have also bought a book like this. So stupidly inspirational that your whole damn life forever changes after the first chapter. I’m skeptical… but apparently fucking completely desperate for any answers or guide to changing myself at this point.
It’s bright yellow. Has basic font. A very cheery looking book. Simply titled, “YOU are a BADASS”. A guide on how to stop doubting my greatness and start living an awesome life. Basically, I figured if I was ACTUALLY going to read a self-help book it was going to have fucking sass and lots of damn cuss words. Please excuse my french.
I’m ready to start actually fucking loving myself. I want to see all the great things that everyone else apparently sees in me that I’m missing. I want to fucking discover myself and be able to mold myself into who I was meant to be. Yeah… I’ve been slowly starting to learn how to love my shitty flaws, but maybe trying something different (something with a zest of cringe) could be the extra boost that I need right now. Cringe.
So here’s to my fucking seemingly impossible soul searching mission. Wish me some luck!!!
Also… praying that the chapter “Leading with my crotch” is not going to be a literal concept… I’ll let you know.
Cheers!
2020
Fucking welcome aboard 2020!
A new year and a fresh start? Yeah… I think new year’s resolutions are complete bull. We should all be trying to resolve our problems the WHOLE damn year, not just the first two weeks of it. However, I am curious to see what I can fucking accomplish in the next 357 days of 2020.
Will I be able to change all the things about myself I dislike? Will I be able to stop wondering what others think about me? Will I be able to stop myself from seeing myself as just a number on a scale? Will I be able to hold strong to my values, even if it lets others down?
Can I be the strongest I’ve ever fucking been? Can I not make the same shitty mistakes that I’ve made over and over again? Can I love others more than I’ve ever loved them? And… Can I truly and honestly love myself?
2020… Let me give you a go.
Never An Accident
I'm feeling beautiful, out at the bar. I'm talking to new people, and my friends aren't that far. You chatted with us, across the fire pit. You had a friendly smile, but fuck... were you lit. You drunkenly stumble over, and "bump" into me. Your hand goes to my ass, but I think "what if it's just me?" No. You're brave enough try it again, but this time you get yourself a really good feel. Your hand goes all the way down, and my disgust becomes real. I realize it then, as I shoved you away. That was never an accident, and it will never be okay.
AO Poetry 