I hate time. I wish it would stop. I wish time would pause, take a break, and forget to restart. I wish the hands on the clock would inexplicably stop ticking their way through moments that will never come back. I wish the squares on every calendar were empty with events that would never occur. I wish the air would still and the world would be deafened by the harshness of complete silence. I wish the details in my memory weren't diminished by days of mindless routines and mundane expectations. Yet... if time was gracious enough to stop... would there truly be a point in ever existing?
Category: My Poetry
Monophobia
Her paranoid mind cruelly twists facts into deranged delusions, irrationality and self-doubt filling up the unused spaces in her pathetic head. Her thoughts churn, anxiety bringing up the bile that belongs in her stomach as fear convinces her that loneliness is sure to come. She will be abandoned, forgotten, and left in the darkness. So she tries to keep them close. Yet her ill-fated attempts only stifle, smother, and suffocate the people she loves most. Her affection too harsh and overwhelming for them to bear.
Pure
You are an amber honey, warm and unpolluted by grays.
When
When reflections off the pavement no longer make you smile, and you haven't heard your own laughter echo for awhile... When the thought of any affection makes you want to scream, yet the thought of physical pain makes your eyes begin to gleam... When your fist feels more natural being curled up into a ball, but it somehow feels even better when it makes contact with a wall... When you're no longer sure if happiness is obtainable, and your fake-ass smile is sad and unsustainable... When there's no longer beauty found in every day things, then what's the point of seeing what tomorrow even brings?
Today
I'm unworthy of your warmth. I deserve the solitude and loneliness that lives inside me, not the comfort of being between your arms. I'm not meant for contentment, I'm meant for failure. I am perpetually reckless, selfish, and stubborn... making me undeserving of any form of love from you.
Left
I can wish and want and dream until my mind fizzles out from unrest, but still you won't be here. I will remain here alone, restless without your presence as I pace my way through memories only I'm left to recall.
The Present
The present only exists for a single second. Everything prior is immediately the past, and everything further belongs to the future. But that's time... fleeting and relentless. Placing timelines on moments the second they've begun.
Thorns
Thoughts become embedded into my brain like thorns. They bury their sharp edges deep into the vulnerable seams of my subconscious, silently smirking at their inability to be removed. And they remain there, dormant in wait... Until my mind again begins to stir.
Haven
The words we whisper become loud behind closed doors. The walls ignorant to the heat behind our tongues... and the gasps between our breaths.
At Rest
Within my skull lies a graveyard of those I've entombed. Locked away in the darkness, they'll never be exhumed. For I am the one now resting in peace. Far less complacent and bearing my teeth.
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