December 2022 – Page 2

Viridian

I never settled on gray... 

I settled on viridian. 

I settled on a 
romanticized intensity 
seeped in tender 
sophistication, 
in hopes to cloak 
the darkness and 
cravings for desolation...

December 19, 2022 by Ash Ochoa Poetry Categories: My PoetryTags: Craving, Darkness, Envy, Gray, Me, Mildly Fucked, Poetry, Viridian 16 Comments

Sconce

December 17, 2022 by Ash Ochoa Poetry Categories: My PicturesTags: Architecture, Black and white, Milwaukee, Photography 6 Comments

First Snow

December 16, 2022 by Ash Ochoa Poetry Categories: My PicturesTags: Photography, Seasons, snow, Tree 14 Comments

Temporary

If I'm not fought for, 
then I know I'm just a moment.  

A moment in your life 
when you needed someone 
and I was there.   

A phase...  

A chapter...  

A temporary filler 
for whatever hole 
you couldn't manage 
to fill yourself.  

Used, released, and left to question 
everything I must have done wrong.

December 14, 2022 by Ash Ochoa Poetry Categories: My PoetryTags: Friends, Me, Past, People, Phases, Poetry, Used 17 Comments

Orb

December 12, 2022 by Ash Ochoa Poetry Categories: My PicturesTags: Amazon Purchases, Black and white, Glass, Light, Orb, Photography, Reflection 12 Comments

Tree of Lights

December 8, 2022 by Ash Ochoa Poetry Categories: My PicturesTags: Black and white, Lights, Photography, Tree 14 Comments

Candle

December 6, 2022 by Ash Ochoa Poetry Categories: My PicturesTags: Black and white, Candle, Flame, Photography, Wax 4 Comments

Sometimes I feel like I’m just not supposed to be here.

I’ll be honest, I’m not entirely sure if my idea of ‘here’ means this lifetime, world, or body… but at times I just feel so disconnected from my own reality. I can’t seem to figure out exactly who I am or where I want to be, but somehow know that my life is screaming mediocracy.

Part of me believes that I could be living some exceptional life if I was anywhere else. Like if I had just played my cards right… if I had followed my dreams… maybe I could have been extraordinary. It’s like I’ve personally somehow robbed myself of having a more desirable, purposeful identity. I mean don’t get me wrong… I’m grateful for everything I have in my life… but the part of me having an existential crisis right now is also pissed that it all feels so meaningless. I sit here alive and thriving, yet still considering myself a pile of confused nothingness. Meh.

So… yeah… that about wraps up my rant about my existence possibly being a mistake. Thanks for taking the time to read my dissociative thoughts. 🖤

-Hal